


Let's see who wins

by water_and_jellyfish



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Reboot, Retcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 13:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/water_and_jellyfish/pseuds/water_and_jellyfish
Summary: Several Marvel's characters share their thoughts about retcons and reboots, while their creators are fighting over whose ideas are better.





	Let's see who wins

This was a dirty fight, every kind of movements allowed. Men were fighting on the ground, pulling each others hair, biting each other, kicking, beating each others faces. Some of them grabbed pens or pencils. Some of them threatened others that they were going to pull them in their eyes.

She-Hulk watched them unamused. She took part in more interesting fights. More spectacular, for sure.

''Hi, what's up?'' she heard familiar voice.

''Nothing interesting, Loki,'' she looked at him. ''Our creators are fighting over whose ideas are more canonical. I've got to tell you I'm getting bored with this. Can't they leave us alone for once?''

''I don't think so. You know, they have to bring some drama to keep people interested. It's been 80 years for some characters. But I understand you, I'm so done with this too. Sometimes I am villain, sometimes hero, sometimes anti-hero. Honestly, I don't know what I am now,'' god of lies and stories complained.

''My canon is more canon than yours ever is going to be!'' they heard somebody's voice and decided to ignore it.

''I think you are villain now. You attacked us with The Final Host!'' she said furiously.

''Yeah, I did. I summoned The Final Host, but I warned Strange about it. I also warned him about infinity stones gathering, in which I took part too. But, on the other hand, I helped to save the world from Gamora. And I summoned The Final Host too make the Avengers assemble, right?''

''That's pretty complicated, isn't it?'' she wondered. ''Anyway, they made me date your brother.''

''Don't worry, this kind of relationships never lasts too long in comic books,'' Loki put his hand on Jen's shoulder.

''Yeah, I know it too well,'' she nodded.

**''Tell us more about it! We thought we finally had some stable relationship, but it seems that we just kept lying to each other,''** Venom said impatiently.

''And it looks that I've got son, but earlier it was stated that he was my half-brother and I don't even know with whom I have my son,'' Eddie rolled his eyes.

**''Sorry, Eddie. They made me be evil once more and alter your memories ruining the whole canon. Not my fault,''** symbiote said in self-defense.

''Ah, families! They make it weirder than necessary, don't they?'' Loki smiled mischievously. ''Look at Hela! Sometimes I call her my daughter, but she's my creation, but not my daughter per se. And all that, because creators wanted to catch up with Norse mythology.''

''Well, and they change our looks and personality all the time, thinking they nailed it perfectly,'' She-Hulk sighed.

''I'm genderfluid and I kinda wish they let me be female more often,'' Loki pondered.

''They made me look too beefy. I am muscular, but not that grotesque! They made me have problems with my Hulk nature and later they fixed that, but some time later they broke it again. They should have had at least some self-respect! I am not Bruce! I can manage my Hulk form pretty well. I go to the court in my green form,'' Jen clearly was offended. ''At least they should have let me break the fourth wall, like the old good times,'' she snorted angrily.

''Has someone mentioned fourth wall breaking?'' another person joined them.

''Yes, Wade, I have mentioned it. I was breaking the fourth wall before you even were a thing!'' She-Hulk crossed her arms.

''You see, I'm well know for breaking the fourth wall and they had to find you some other things to do,'' Deadpool went silent for a second. ''Oh, I see our dearest creators are fighting over our fates! Let's solve it once and for all. Let's kill them!'' Wade grabbed his gun and katana.

''You know this doesn't work that way, Wade. They are not true creators, we can't enter the true reality. In one of alternate universes you killed your creators, but did it change anything? No!''

''Wolvie! It's nice to see you! How do you feel being alive again?'' Deadpool asked.

''After some time you get used to dying and coming back. However this time I have the Phoenix force. Oh and Loki, you owe me for saving you from The Final Host.''

''Let's talk about our debts later. You know, Logan? You from the reality of the end of time have got the Phoenix force too. I know it, because the future you came for me, using my brother's goats.''

''Thor and I are going to fight giant Doctor Doom in the far future after we are going to fight each other, because I'm going to be mad at Thor for his decisions. And All-Black is going to bond with Galactus, but Ego The Living Planet is going to defeat him, but you, Loki, are going to claim All-Black from Ego.''

**''All-Black? The first Klyntar?''** Venom asked.

''The very same,'' Logan nodded.

**''All-Black was the sword forged by Knull, the evil symbiote god. Klyntar is the name of our race, but it is also the name of our planet, which is made of symbiotes and Knull is trapped inside of it. It was created after Knull's fight with Thor. This doesn't make sense, right?''**

''Since when creators care about sense in comic books?'' Loki asked.

''So... What are we now?'' She-Hulk asked.

''Let's see who wins. Then we'll find out,'' Logan said calmly.

 


End file.
